The St. Louis-based American Mustache Institute recently published a study on the savings and spending habits of mustached Americans. The good news? On average mustached persons are higher earners (they don’t say by how much). The bad news? They spend all their money on “entertainment, household disposables, bottled beverages, and luxury items.” That’s all euphemism for “they like to party.” Mustaches have more fun. It’s now scientifically proven.

6,000 people participated in the study, One-third clean-shaven, one-third mustached and one-third bearded.

Despite being on average higher earners, it is the lavish Mustached American lifestyle that is the key contributor to lower savings by people of Mustached American descent. This study shows that nearly all discretionary income of Mustached Americans is spent on entertainment, household disposables, bottled beverages, and luxury items.