Arizona Diamondbacks’ pitcher Clay Zavada was awarded the 2009 “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year,” presented by the American Mustache Institute. Stachist would like to congratulate Zavada on his accomplishment. And for having a kick-ass name. The announcement article is a good read full of mustache slang: “lip garden,” “labia sebucula,” which is Latin for “lip sweater.” It speaks of the mustache as enhancing the Zavada’s baseball skill:

The mustache’s enhancement of a player’s skills has stirred controversy in the sport as an internal report produced by Major League Baseball reportedly said it believes Zavada’s mustache was responsible for at least 42 of his 52 strikeouts in 2009, leading the Diamondbacks and 12 other teams to conduct a worldwide search for other mustached players.

Runner-up for the award is Northeastern State University professor Dr. John Yeutter.