In November 2008—if you can even recall now that the nation has been swept not only by a crippling economic collapse but a socialist (read: fascist) tide held at bay only by a few stout tea-bagging defenders of its glorious traditions (among them, irrational fear and discrimination)—America had quite a choice ahead of them: whether to vote for a black mostly liberal man and his gaffe-prone running mate, or for an old mostly conservative man and his gaffe-prone running mate (who just so happened to be a woman).  That, dear reader, was nothing compared to the presidential election of 1912.

In November 1912, America faced a critical decision: a president without a mustache, or one with—and if siding with the latter, just which mustached candidate?  Would it be the Democrat Woodrow Wilson, the clean-shaven, Southern-born, intellectual-cum-politician?  Would it be the Republican incumbent William Howard Taft, the heavy-set former judge and trend-setting wearer of a brawny walrus-style mustache?  Or would it be the stalwart Teddy Roosevelt—a Nobel laureate, former president, soldier, trust-buster and all-around bombast—seemingly set on destroying his former vice president (and friend) in order to restore a progressive federal government and his tight-cropped commanding mustache back in the White House? America not only chose a president that year, but set an electoral precedent—the ramifications we still feel today.

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One of the greatest aspects of running a blog is seeing the asinine stuff that people are searching for on the Internet.   Just yesterday, we got hits for “Magnum P.I. Hawaiian Shirt,” “Culture of Burritos,” and a whopping nine for “Mustache Mirror.”  That being said, it says something about a blog you when it is the second Google recommended site for “Evil People with Mustaches in the 1800′s.”  I’m not sure what in fact it says, but I will take it.

Evil people have had mustaches, yes.  Hitler.  Stalin.  Saddam.  Pretty much any evil person you can think of probably had a mustache.  But the fact that people are searching specifically for evil people from the 1800′s really raises the stakes.

Stachist.com is the second best place to get this information, and the fact that we are calling for your help means that evil people with mustaches from the 1800′s is a topic that there just isn’t enough information on.  So, please.  Anyone that remembers the 1800′s, specifically someone with a mustache that you felt was truly evil, let your voice be heard.

Dogs have no problem walking around with an air of indifference, ignoring who they want, sniffing the legs of others, always checking for new places to claim as their territory.  In that sense, dogs are just like hipsters.

But until now they were not allowed to have an outlandish ironic stache like their owners.  Humunga Stache, available here, is perfect for any pup who has long wanted to step up his upper lip game.  One part chew toy, one part mustache – all parts awesome, the Humunga Stache is for dogs what the mustache mugs are for humans . . . a way to be a member of the mustachioed millions for a few brief, but glorious, seconds.

Peter Ibruegger has created a simple coffee mug design that really lets its users spice things up each time they fall slave to caffeine.  His mustache mugs, available here, are true works of art: black staches on white ceramic mugs that give you two options of style, depending on which hand you raise to your lips.

If you don’t have a stache, it is a way for you to be cool, in three second intervals.  And if you are lucky/dedicated enough to be the owner of your very own mustache, even when you are covering it with your morning coffee, you will be confident knowing that your glorious lip strip has tagged in a temporary substitute.

There appears to be some confusion about what exactly a handle bar mustache is. Is it a mustache that is long on the sides that you wax into little curls or is it an up-side-down horseshoe (also known as a horseshoe mustache) that extends straight down from the end of the lips to the chin? I’ve heard people refer to both styles as being handlebars. If that’s the case, then “handlebar” isn’t too descriptive; it could be used to describe almost any type of mustache.

Voice your opinion in the comments. Read the rest of this entry »

Though Westchester (N.Y) County is near my home in King’s County, I was not even slightly tempted to attend the first ever Westchester County ‘Stache-Off last Saturday.   Sure, the staches in attendance promised to be incredible.  But honestly, the marquee name was Wally Backman, of the 1986 World Champion New York Mets, who received a lifetime accomplishment award for his dedication to the lip jacket.

Let’s do a quick rundown on Backman’s history:

1. Born on September 22, 1959
2. Drafted 16th overall in 1977 MLB draft.
3. Grows mustache
4. Wins 1986 World Series with Mets.  Wasn’t even best mustache on team.  Though second place to Keith Hernandez in a mustache contest is like second place to Wilt Chamberlain in an ass getting contest.
5. Convicted of DUI in 1999
6. Declares bankruptcy
7. Hired as manager of Arizona Diamondbacks on November 1, 2004
8. Fired as manager of Arizona Diamondbacks on November 5, 2004
9. Currently manages minor league Brooklyn Cyclones

Check out his mugshot after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

We’re now halfway into Movember and the staches are starting to take shape. I’ve been keeping up with Mo Bro James, who’s been updating folks on the status of his Mo via Twitter. James hails from Austin, Texas and is growing a stache of the “strongman” style. He drinks whiskey to help it grow: “whiskey is miracle grow for Mos. Makes hair stand up and try to leap of the face… “.

So far, his team, Magical MOments has raised $2,046.33. Click the link to donate. Keep up the good work, James!

The title says it all. If you’re into that sort of a thing, womenwithmustaches.com. Warning: it’s not hot women with fake mustaches (like Araceli González); it’s real women with real mustaches.

I do get a kick out of their animated graphic, seen left.

Thanks @sabeenak for the tip.

I was perusing Etsy for some mustache stuff and came across this amazing illustration. It represents how mustaches have gone in and out of style throughout the generations, particularly the different styles of mustaches. The trendy mustaches of today can be throwbacks of 70s-style staches or, more popular and represented here, the wild, bushy styles of the 1800s. The illustration also represents how mustaches can sometimes take on a life of their own. The descendant and ancestor aren’t shaking hands, their mustaches are.

The artist writes:

Two moustaches shaking hands across generations, what could be more classy? This image was first created to advertise one of our wax slogans, but there was so much demand that we make prints of this design that we couldn’t help but comply.

You can get a print for $20. Also check out the artist’s portfolio.

Conan has gone through some major changes in 2009, moving from New York to LA, and moving his show from Latenight to Tonight.  But until now his upper lip has remained bare and boring.  If the below picture is any indication, he will be flashing a nice reverse handlebar stache on the Tonight Show during an upcoming episode.  While it may be fake, there is no shame in having a lightning rod such as Conan supporting the mustached millions.