Conan, as this blog has previously chronicled, has demonstrated his love for a good fake mustache.  His alter ego, Conando, the star of the Spanish novella, “Noches de Pasion,” rocks a perfect stache. From what I have gathered, Conando dually romances young Spanish phillies and throws attacking banditos out of windows, through which they plummet to their deaths.

Conan, like many great men before him, knows that he cannot have a true alter ego if said alter ego does not have a mustache.  Especially if he is evil.

Conando, on the other hand, fights for the girl.  He fights for his freedom.  And he fights for his stache.