We’re just about ready to see the puck drop in the Olympic gold medal game between USA and Canada.   Mustaches around North America and the world are giddy with excitement.  Who is going to win?  It is up in the air, but when you type “USA mustache” into Google images, this is what comes up.  When you type in “Canada mustache” a picture of Hitler appears.

Let’s go Yankees!

When Ploof’s mustache (featured two posts back) emerged from its cocoon of a beard, the hairs that gave their lives to allow his stache to flourish did not go down without one last work of art, a robust Fu Manchu.

Currently my beard is at the 5 week mark, and I am anxiously awaiting the time when I can begin to twist the tips of my mustache.  Will I be able to put up with the Brillo pad that is on my face until that time comes?  Is it cheating to grow a beard and then converting to a mustache rather than Staching organically?  Will I use Just For Men because my beard is like 4 shades lighter than the hair on my head?  Will my beard hairs fall into such a delicate manner as Ploof’s clearly did (because there is no way he would have arranged the hair like this)? Will people ever come to their senses and realize they are NAMED KILLER WHALES FOR A REASON? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Also, it is important to note that if you really really wanted to see Mr. Miagi’s face in the tub (a la Jesus’s face in a slice of bread), you totally can.  Wax on, wax off.

Gawker proclaimed the faux mustache of French Olympic snowboarder Mathiew Crepel to be the most ironic in all the world. Why is Mathieu Crepel’s mustache the World’s Most Ironic Mustache? Quoth Gawker:

1. Beginner’s irony: It is a fake, black-ink mustache on an adult.
2. Advanced-placement irony: It is drawn on top of his real mustache.
3. Nationalist irony: A teensy, curling mustache on a Frenchman, at an competition that emphasizes one’s citizenship.

He didn’t get a medal, but he gets the Gold in fake mustaches in our book.

Photo taken wednesday, Feb. 17, 2010. (AP Photo/Gerry Broome)

If you’re like me, you’ve often wondered what would happen if the following elements were combined into one picture:

1. An attractive mountain man with his rustic semi-hipster style (imagine Bon Iver playing in the background) so perfectly fashioned that his luxurious bed of hair has sprouted sunfowers.

2.  The mountain man sports a semi-ironic grin while looking at something in the foreground which is clearly more interesting than the camera.

3.  The mountain man is in what appears to be a technicolor dream bathroom.  Can you imagine the pleasure that would come from relieving yourself in such a space?

4.  The mountain man’s upper lip is fashioned with a strong yet sensitive stache.

Sometimes in this tough life, everything comes together and dreams are realized.  This is one of those times, thanks to Ploof in Portland, OR.

A reader submitted to Stachist Mustache Headquarters a mustache all the way from Izegem, Belgium. Apparently this is their town crier. I don’t even know what a town crier does but if it’s a government job that involves growing a Van Buren stache and shouting, then I’d like to be the San Francisco town crier please. Just give me a bell…

Design firm Pentagram recently designed a new cover for a reissue of Edourdo de Pomiane’s 1930 classic Cooking With Pomiane. The cover features four creative mustaches made from different foods. De Pomiane, in addition to being a famous “food writer and culinary personality” also had a kick-ass mustache. See him in real life after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

“Why would you do something to make yourself less attractive?…”

“It’s horrible; it is only worn by old men.”

“I do not find it attractive and I feel it is a way for boys to make a statement that they are men. I think it’s stupid.”

These hateful words were uttered by female students at BYU-Hawaii.

While some women dig the ‘stache, there are some that utterly loathe it. My last (female) roomate was one of them. Fortunately for me, I don’t dig women who don’t like mustaches. In a sense, the mustache is sort of a filter.

I asked her what made her hate the mustache so much and she alluded to the fact that it was socially acceptable for men to walk around with untrimmed faces while women were required to be trimmed downstairs.

WHAT???

I understand it may not be your bag, but why the intense repulsion? If anything, it just makes me like it more.

New Orleans Saints star Reggie Bush, after having won the Super Bowl, is now featured in a milk mustache commercial. Milk mustaches may be fake but they’re delicious. More so if you have a real mustache underneath.

So this post is a couple months late, but last September, at the 2009 Emmy awards, Sarah Silverman pranked everyone by wearing a fake mustache while the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series was being presented. She, of course, was on of the nominees. She did an amazing job of keeping a straight face while the camera was on her and should have won just for that antic. Shenanigins!

Read the rest of this entry »

I would highly recommend you buy anything on TV that you see endorsed by anyone sporting a mustache.  To that end, I just called up Farmers’ Insurance, and in a mustache induced fit of spontaneity, ordered car insurance, life insurance, pet insurance, house insurance, and hand insurance (we’re not like those face and body models- we have minds of our own).

In retrospect, these purchases don’t make much sense, as I don’t have a car, a house, a pet, and quite possibly, a life.  Damn you Farmers’ and your persuasive use of a mustachioed spokesperson!