Here, in this picture, you may see on the right, myself, and on the left, Theodore (as I have chosen to call him). Now, just last night, I was buying ice cream, and when I look up at the man selling it, I was lucky enough to come stache to stache with Theodore, as well as his lovely Mutton-Stache.

Now, the Mutton-Stache is a rarely executed facial hair style that should only be attempted by professional Stachists, such as Theodore. It is a combo style where the grower lets his side burns creep down his jaw until they are graciously allowed to connect with the glorious mustache, without any pesky beard to distract away. It as if Theodore here has two gorgeous arrows down his face directly to his mustache, screaming out for all the world to hear, “Look how beautiful my face is now. I am a MAN”

Kids- don’t try this at home.

[P.S. Theodore- If you read this and would like me to update this article with your real name, please contact me at Joseph@stachist.com]