Well, I’ve recently started this thing called “college.” It turns out that while most people may try to convince you that colleges are institutions of higher education, on this very Saturday, following a winning football game, I’m pretty sure that its one large party rather than a location for academia. So, if this is how things will be- why not at least make it classy?

Well look no further for sophistication whilst drinking. All you need is a mustache. Don’t have a lip mitten, you say? Then hold one of these up while the liquor goes down!

Presto- instant gentleman or gentlewoman.