Well, if you’re not familiar with Mr. Daler Mendhi, please go watch this video immediately.

If you do know this great man and his equally amazing song, “Tunak Tunak Tun,” please now forget all that. And focus on his mustache. He may be singing in hindi, but it doesn’t take much to know exactly what he’s singing about.

I’m told it’s a love song. Yep. He may be in India, but that doesn’t stop the women from congregating around a dashing lip-mitten. The gorgeous bird of sexiness spreading its hairy wings across his upper lip.

Also- those twirly hand movements he keeps doing in that video? You know he can curl that stache like a pro with moves like that! Hell, I know I wish I could pull them off.

There are many reasons to want to hide one’s face. Hideousness, hiding one’s identity, and assuming the identity of another are among the most common. So why is it that Daft Punk chooses to go incognito?

Well, look no further for said answer. These two men are simply too handsome for the general public to handle. And by “these two men”, I mean two gorgeous mustaches hidden away for the greater good.

Why can something so good be so dangerous? Take your pick: riots caused by mustache envy, random attacks from crazed fans, and potential idol worship by the masses, among other threats.

But nonetheless, their album titles say it all. After the “Discovery” of their stache growing abilities, they frequently have to remind others that, under their lip-mounted glory, they are “Human After All.”

Pencil Thin Mustache #12 & 35.

Most of the musicians I choose to showcase in “Mustache Music Monday” gained fame while wearing a mustache. But today I bring you a man who became famous without one, then grew a stache to further his stardom.

May I present, Mr. Bob Dylan.

Most pictures I know of Dylan are of him as a clean shaven younger man. Yet, what do I find on google images when I search his name in conjuncture with the word “mustache”? That’s right, a picture of the same man, gently seasoned by age, sporting a handsome salt ‘n’ pepper nose neighbor.

Now, normally, I’m not a fan of the pencil thin approach. Yet, staring into Dylan’s dreamy facial hair with “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35″ playing in the back of my head somehow forces me to reconsider. I mean seriously, what man is more worthy of being allowed to play a guitar and wear a mustache at the same time?

Best facial hair ever? The Mustache.

Best band ever? The Beatles.

While most people claim the Beatles wrote songs that were loosely disguised references to drug-enduced euphoria, the dirty little secret is of a truly different sort. Many of their legendary songs may be directly traced to a whole other euphoric category.

Mustaches.

We all live in a yellow submarine? Many men in the navy, the very men who pilot submarines, wear mustaches to keep their lips warm on the open seas.

What animal has facial hair just like the people showcased on this blog? Well, let’s just say I am the Walrus.

And what must one do when too many women are pulled in by the auspicious aura of his mustache? Well, give each a Ticket to Ride, of course!

Today we ask ourselves the age old question: Does the mustache make the man?

Well, I can’t answer that, but in the case of Freddie Mercury, it certainly makes his music fantastic.

Some have even theorized that Queen’s song, “It’s a Kind of Magic” is actually about how his life was improved by his flaunting of a glorious lip ornament.

“It’s a kind of magic
One shaft of light that shows the way
No mortal man can win this day”

Logically, the above lyrics can only be attributed to his ecstatic response to realizing he had finally grown a mustache, and one of the best in the Milky Way at that. He elegantly, and accurately, compared the wearing of the mustache with magic, explaining that it’s pure attractiveness led him through life like a “shaft of light,” eventually elevating him like a god as, with the mustache, he was “no mortal man.”

It may be safely assumed that while Mercury has left us, his words will live on through the glory of mustaches worldwide.

Ahhh Mustache Harbor. If there was a sound for what having a mustache feels like, it would sound like these guys. They play so-called “yacht rock“: smooth, happy grooves from the 70s and 80s that are best heard while on a yacht. Their set list is a collection of songs that make you feel good, songs you may or may not remember from days of yore, depending on how old you are, and Mustache Harbor plays them to perfection. I get so giddy when I hear the first keyboard strokes on You Make Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates.

They play next Wednesday at Grant & Green and Thursday at the ever-so-appropriate La Barca.