I’m pretty sure that I don’t have anyone in my life who wouldn’t enjoy a nice jaunt in the BusTache.  Ok, there are lots of them, but I am referring to my alternate life, a life where buses are neon green, adorned with a giant Rusty Jones-esque stache, and countless people around who want nothing more with their lives than to ride aboard such a glorious vehicle.

Fortunately for us, this is a reality somewhere in the world, as the hot little baby to the left is roaming the highways, just waiting to make a pit stop for some passengers who want to log some miles in the tickle machine.  Especially if somehow Chris Farley could reprise his Billy Madison role and steal some lunches.

If you’re like me, you’ve often wondered what would happen if the following elements were combined into one picture:

1. An attractive mountain man with his rustic semi-hipster style (imagine Bon Iver playing in the background) so perfectly fashioned that his luxurious bed of hair has sprouted sunfowers.

2.  The mountain man sports a semi-ironic grin while looking at something in the foreground which is clearly more interesting than the camera.

3.  The mountain man is in what appears to be a technicolor dream bathroom.  Can you imagine the pleasure that would come from relieving yourself in such a space?

4.  The mountain man’s upper lip is fashioned with a strong yet sensitive stache.

Sometimes in this tough life, everything comes together and dreams are realized.  This is one of those times, thanks to Ploof in Portland, OR.

A loyal red-headed reader recently tipped me off to another fantastic blog that sometimes showcases epic mustaches, though indirectly.  My Parents Were Awesome is, in a word, awesome.   The site simply exists to be a place where users can post old pictures of (presumably) their parents.

There is so much to love about these pictures.  The clothing  styles.  The haircuts.  The obvious love.  The mustaches.  One example:

Running a blog is a study in shameless self-promotion, but sometimes our brutal, taxing hard work pays off and people recognize our posts for what they are: pure, unadulterated mustache genius.  Recently Tili Ritter, who appears to be the coolest girl in the world, posted about us on Twitter (@KTritter).  Which showed up in our inbox.  Which led us to her twitter page.  Which led me to fall in love.  Not only is Tili Ritter a mustache enthusiast, she also claims to be a huge fan of the bands Minus the Bear and The National, two of my favorites.

So thank you Tili Ritter, for being cool.  For being you.  And for (hopefully) not looking like this:

Actually, on second thought- hopefully you do look like this.

CBS Sunday Morning reporter (and nominee for the 2009 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award) did a segment on Stache Bash and the American Mustache Institute.

Arizona Diamondbacks’ pitcher Clay Zavada was awarded the 2009 “Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year,” presented by the American Mustache Institute. Stachist would like to congratulate Zavada on his accomplishment. And for having a kick-ass name. The announcement article is a good read full of mustache slang: “lip garden,” “labia sebucula,” which is Latin for “lip sweater.” It speaks of the mustache as enhancing the Zavada’s baseball skill:

The mustache’s enhancement of a player’s skills has stirred controversy in the sport as an internal report produced by Major League Baseball reportedly said it believes Zavada’s mustache was responsible for at least 42 of his 52 strikeouts in 2009, leading the Diamondbacks and 12 other teams to conduct a worldwide search for other mustached players.

Runner-up for the award is Northeastern State University professor Dr. John Yeutter.

Stache Bash is probably the biggest mustache get-together in recent times. The celebration is put on by the American Mustache Institute and they estimate the attendance of the event to be at least 1,500 people.

The event is scheduled for Friday, October 30, a day before Halloween. As such, Halloween costumes are strongly encouraged. If you need an idea of what sort of a costume to wear with your mustache, check out Stachist’s mustache Halloween recommendations.

Headlining the event will be the mustachioed John Oates.

The winner of the 2009 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year will also be announced after nearly 100,000 votes were sumbied on the AMI’s website.

The deets:

• In St. Louis @ the Orpheum Theater
• $29
• 21 and over
• John Oates is playing!