Christmastime with the family completed, I attempted to watch Mustache Porn aka Sherlock Holmes on the big screen last night.  Unfortunately for my plan, I grew up in a small town with one movie theater and the sole showing of Sherlock Holmes (in which Jude Law’s Watson showcases a burly mustache) at 7:00 sold out.  To a guy three people in front of me in line.  Without a mustache.

Now, I also don’t currently have a mustache, and didn’t get in line until after him, so I let it slide.  But I was deprived of Watson’s stache on the big screen and what should have been a celebration of the real Sherlock Holmes, replete with a robust Sherlock stache via Robert Downey Jr., who has previously modeled a fantastic lip rug.

Downey Jr. let down Stachist’s everywhere with his decision to not display the classic Sherlock Stache, but I’m sure he had his reasons. Like inexplicably not wanting to be sweet.