If you’re like me, you’ve often wondered what would happen if the following elements were combined into one picture:

1. An attractive mountain man with his rustic semi-hipster style (imagine Bon Iver playing in the background) so perfectly fashioned that his luxurious bed of hair has sprouted sunfowers.

2.  The mountain man sports a semi-ironic grin while looking at something in the foreground which is clearly more interesting than the camera.

3.  The mountain man is in what appears to be a technicolor dream bathroom.  Can you imagine the pleasure that would come from relieving yourself in such a space?

4.  The mountain man’s upper lip is fashioned with a strong yet sensitive stache.

Sometimes in this tough life, everything comes together and dreams are realized.  This is one of those times, thanks to Ploof in Portland, OR.

I would highly recommend you buy anything on TV that you see endorsed by anyone sporting a mustache.  To that end, I just called up Farmers’ Insurance, and in a mustache induced fit of spontaneity, ordered car insurance, life insurance, pet insurance, house insurance, and hand insurance (we’re not like those face and body models- we have minds of our own).

In retrospect, these purchases don’t make much sense, as I don’t have a car, a house, a pet, and quite possibly, a life.  Damn you Farmers’ and your persuasive use of a mustachioed spokesperson!